1) Before the big day: preview and practice
Visual schedules reduce uncertainty and support independence.- Create a one-page schedule with pictures: “Car → Grandma’s → Hello → Snack → Play → Dinner table → Quiet break → Dessert → Photos → Home.”
- Walk through the schedule twice in the days before. Do a 5-minute rehearsal of greeting, sitting, and taking a break.
2) Travel: car, subway, or plane
Travel routines are predictable opportunities to encourage your child and reinforce coping skills. Car/ride script (first–then): “First seatbelt on, then tablet for 10 minutes.” “First two songs with headphones, then snack.” Airport/long ride tips (ABA shaping):- Break waits into chunks: 5 minutes in line → sticker → 5 more minutes → short walk.
- Offer choices to maintain agency: “Headphones or hat?” “Window seat or aisle?”
3) Arriving at the family gathering
The entrance moment sets the tone. Greeting script options:- Verbal: “Happy Thanksgiving, Aunt Kim.”
- Nonverbal: wave or high-five if verbal speech is hard.
- Coach a “hello + exit” plan: “Say hi, then we’ll check the quiet room.”
4) The dinner table: short, structured, supported
Long meals can be tough for people with autism. Make the dinner table a teachable, time-limited routine. Table routine (visual): Sit → two bites → sip → one-minute chat → sticker → break. Script for sitting: “First sit for two minutes, then you can play with the fidget toys under the table.” “First two bites of preferred food, then one new food look-and-sniff.” If refusal starts:- Prompt, then praise: “Touch the roll.” → “You touched it; nice trying.”
- Offer a swap: “No turkey now. Choose peas or bread.”
- Plan the break: “Timer for two minutes, then we’ll come back for dessert.”
5) Managing sensory overload in real time
Crowds, clatter, and smells can overwhelm a child with autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Reduce input before it spikes.- Headphones on before the kitchen gets loud.
- Seat your child at the end of the table or at a small side table.
- Keep one predictable job (napkin helper, name-card collector) to structure engagement.
6) Social “micro-goals” that build success
Set small goals and celebrate wins.- Say hello to 2–3 family members (stickers on a card).
- Share one toy or turn in a short game.
- Pose for one photo, then break.
7) Handling surprises, comments, and “the bid day” hiccups
Holiday plans change. If the schedule slips or a relative comments, redirect calmly. If someone says: “Why the headphones at dinner?” You say: “They help him stay with us at the table. It’s part of our ABA therapy plan.” If your child bolts from the table:- Meet them where they are.
- Short script: “Feet walking back. Two minutes, then break.”
- Praise the return immediately.
8) After the meal: structured play and transitions
Plan a low-demand activity after eating.- Quiet corner with books or a simple Thanksgiving Day craft
- Short play games routine with a cousin (two turns only, then break)
- Walk outside with headphones if inside stays noisy
9) When to adjust the plan
If behaviors escalate, shrink the step size:- Two-minute sits instead of five
- One hello instead of three
- Dessert at the side table instead of the main table
